Friday, December 19, 2008

Star Light Star Bright

Star Light Star Bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.... 

I wish that I was older and had all the advice and could look back and laugh at how stupid I was. Sadly, and frustratingly enough, I am still suffering the experience part of the Stupid boys. A year of my life has been consumed by one of these stupid boys. And it doesn't ever seem to go away. I wish it did. 

I wish that I had some incredible spiritual experience that made me KNOW without a doubt in my mind that the church was true. But, let's be honest, I don't want a angel appearing or anything. Because life doesn't get easier just because an angel appeared and then, well,  you're even more responsible for your mistakes. .. Crap

I wish that I didn't have feelings for anyone and could go to college boy free. Have fun with the girls, and not worry about the stupid male species. 

I wish that I was done with school, married, and had some kids to entertain me and give me things to blog about. 

I wish I had an amazing talent like drawing, singing, or dancing. These so called talents like 'caring a lot for people'  aren't as great as they sound. I wish I had a talent to show off and be proud of. 

I wish that my entire family lived in the same city. Not the same house, but the same city. That family pictures could be taken anytime. Sunday dinners could include everyone, and that we regularly got together to play games and grow close. 

I wish that I could control other people. That whole free agency thing was kind of a joke. Well, besides mine anyway. 

I wish all the music I would like automatically would add to my itunes because i'm getting kind of sick of my same old music but I dont know where to find more I would like without searching for a long time. 

I wish Kasi would come to her senses, pack up, and move back to Utah. 

I wish Obama wasn't becoming president....the more I hear the more freaked out I become.... 

I wish songs and smells did not bring me back to certain times of my life. It's annoying! 

I wish I was capable of concentrating on one school for example. I am the worst studier possible. I promise, if there was a class called Procrastination 2010 I would pass with flying colors. 

I wish that we could have snow minus the cold. Really, who's idea was it to be cold? The snow is fun and so beautiful but then this stupid thing called cold comes in and takes over making snow=hell. Here I come Logan, can't wait to share the weather with you. 
Which brings me to wishing that I had a 4 wheel drive car. Let's face it, space is a champ but she's definitely not going to survive Logan. The hill I have to drive up and down every day to get anywhere will be where I face death 

I wish That I could talk to all of my family about things. But there's certain things that after hearing so much about they get frustrated. Are mean to me, get mad at me for my decisions, or wish so badly they could just make me do certain things that I dont always feel capable of. I'm not able to just talk to them about it anymore. It has to be a separate part of my life, not shared.

I wish I could bring my bed with me to Logan. Oh boy sharing a dorm with 5 other girls AND having a crappy bed. What am I getting myself into?? 

I wish I could put certain memories and thoughts into a box and put that box away forever. Or at least until I was ready to face it again. But Life's a B*&^$% right? 

I wish I was not so worried about money... I kind of am just going up to Logan with faith that after years of paying my tithing I'll figure it all out... Keep your fingers crossed! 

I wish a lot of things. Like that I could get off the computer and go to bed. So those are all my wishes for the night!! 

1 comment:

Kasi said...

I love you! I love this post too. Oh, and Kevin and I voted for Obama and love him, so there! And you'll get over the stupid boys. Eventually. But we've all been there, and it sucks, and there is really nothing anyone can say to make it better, except that it won't last forever. And your family will always be here for you and love you. You are seriously the best sister ever, and I miss you sooooooooooo much. Maybe when you get married and have kids we'll move back so that Emily can babysit for you :) And Sara, you have amazing talents, cherish them. Seriously, in the real world, in day to day life, who cares if you can sing or dance? Will that help you be a better mother or wife or daughter of God? And speaking of God, you will get your witness. Just don't give up.